As an intelligent 41 year-old, I have had lots of experience with human interactions. Some awesome, some not so awesome…some downright cringe-worthy!
What’s different about me you might ask? To many I’m just a woman with the same feelings and emotions as you. These people see me as a person. Others immediately see my severe physical disability; how my arms tense up, how I rarely dribble due to lack of muscle tone and the big one – how I’m non-verbal! I communicate through eyegaze systems; I have one for my trusty Windows 7 computer ie Senior Eric and a portable system Baby Eric which is a Surface Pro tablet for when I’m out ‘n about. (Hopefully this year I’m upgrading to a Surface Pro 4, getting rid of Microsoft’s not so finest platform Windows 8). Anyway, you get the gist; I love to talk even though my own voice doesn’t work, thanks to my brain sending out muddled messages to my muscles.
I live at home with my beautiful Mum and our gorgeous furbabies Shadey, Frankie and my girl Roxy. My Mum is my main carer, advocate and my world. We’ve been through it all; mainstream schools, fighting Board Of Studies so they allowed me to complete an exam over days (at that stage I used a headswitch to type which was awfully slow and tiring), fought to get into uni doing a dual degree (I lasted six months due to not nice lecturers), finally I ended full-time at Tafe with Mum’s support and encouragement. Mum’s my rock, she’s always understanding. I have chronic pain issues which seem to get worse as years pass by, but Mum always understands and even with her mising out on things I never forget what she’s sacrificed (she always assures me she loves being my Mum and wouldn’t ever desert any of her four children). But then, in other areas we certainly make up for this. We love going to concerts, especially Day On The Green gigs! We have some stories about our concert adventures and holidays! I love my Mum, I have no doubt that this is the reason why “Mum” was my first word I verbalised when I was around three years-old, and still is the word I can easily say.
For showers and to get out ‘n about, I have two carers. Currently my main workers are on well-deserved holidays, so for my shower shifts we’re getting fill-in workers. This was the main reason why I’ve started this blog.
Mum always explains to a new worker (because I’m in bed still) that my disability is only physical, “mentally Jacqui’s as bright or even brighter than you and I!”. Some people “get” it, but unfortunately some don’t. Several times now I’ve had a worker who doesn’t “get” it, she talks to me in that high pitch sing-song voice, but speaks to Mum normally. There’s a way to wash my hair without “drowning” me, but this lady’s common sense doesn’t kick in. Whereas this morning I had a lovely worker (who I’ve had long ago) and she did everything with common sense and listening to me by watching my eyes. Most importantly she showed me dignity and made sure she covered my body with a towel when she was drying me. This was bliss! And because I got a little bit sunburnt last week, I pointed to my moisturiser. She put it on my body. Unfortunately other workers haven’t picked up (or just ignored) my eye cues. This morning’s carer joked about not drowning me and said how she’s told off other workers who’s done so to other clients.
I understand most people haven’t come across someone who’s severely physically disabled and non-verbal who’s not intellectual disabled, but in the year of 2017 agencies should educate their staff to at least uphold everyone’s right to dignity.
So if you have a physical disability, I encourage you to write your stories about workers (the great, awful and ugly). Maybe share this blog on your agencies’ page or e-mail them. Your voice is important!
Thanks for reading!